Gaga struts fiercely to work off those Thanksgiving pounds
Welcome back from your Thanksgiving break, Diva watchers. Hope you enjoyed your turkey (or tofurkey)! We thought Thanksgiving week would be a quiet one. Celebs have to go home and grab mashed potatoes too, right? Well, we were wrong! From new hip-hip celeb showdowns to Gaga’s invasion of the federal government (?!?), this week’s Diva Watch is chock-full with drama juicier than any of your Black Friday deals!
1. Nicki Minaj v. Lil’ Kim
Nicki’s got at least 3 inches on the 4’11 Lil’ Kim. We know who we’d bet on in a brawl.
Move aside, Britney v. Christina! This is a diva celeb feud with some real bite! Minaj kicked it off with her song, “Roman’s Revenge”, whose lyrics take a swipe at Kim allegedly (sample lyrics: “Look at my show footage, how these girls be spazzin’ / So f— I look like gettin’ back to a has-been? / Yeah, I said it, has-been /Hang it up, flatscreen /Haha plasma.”). Kim of course hit back, with some harsh words on the track, “Simon Says” (saimple lyrics: “It’ll be a murder scene, I’m turning ‘Pink Friday’ to ‘Friday the 13th…I hate you Lil’ Kim clone/clown, all this buffoonery, the sh– stops now … We all know your last name is what got you your job, you’s a put-together gimmick, something like a collage”). Again, we say this is another example of how a public feud is great publicity for celebs (See: Swift v. West). Minaj gets extra press coverage the week her album drops, and Kim, well, when was the last time she made a headline?
+30 Don’t you just love the smell of a bitch fight in the morning? Bring on more drama, laydees!
Total: +30
Gaga, RiRi and the Pentagon(!) behind the cut!
2. Lady Gaga in making hyperbolic statement shock
A teary Gaga makes her hyperbolic announcement in Poland.
Ok, like most of the free world, we’re pretty big fans of Gaga, But we’re kinda worried about the level of hubris in Gaga’s recent proclamations about her much-anticipated new album. At her concert stop in Poland, Lady G declared that “Born This Way” will be the “greatest album of the decade” and that “it’s f***king really good”. Now we can’t wait for the record, but Gaga, there’s something called managing expectations. You should try it sometimes! You’re only setting yourself up for a massive fall here (see: Aguilera, Christina – Bionic)!
-10 Can Gaga top Bad Romance? We hope so but she’s gotta stop this ridiculous hype!
Total: -10
3. Rihanna makes history on Billboard Hot 100
RiRi topped the Billboard Hot 100 this week with Only Girl, making it her 9th chart-topper. She becomes the first female to top the Hot 100 four times in one year, and also the first artist to have a second single hit no.1 (What’s My Name reached the summit two weeks earlier) before a first single does. Only legendary divas Janet, Whitney, Madonna and Mariah stand before her in the all-time list now, and Rihanna is only 22!
+10 RiRi’s certainly the only girl at the top of the chart world!
-2 Yes, this entry is incredibly geeky, but we’re suckers for hot figures!
Total: +8
4. Pink will name baby after favorite alcohol
Ellen cops a feel.
Ah Pink, why did we worry having a baby might make you lose your rock edge? The acrobatic singer revealed that her and her husband’s top choice for a name if it’s a boy will be Jameson, because “My dad’s name is James, and my brother’s name is Jason. [Carey and I] are both Irish, Carey’s middle name is Jason, [and] Jameson – we like whiskey. That’s a no brainer.” We bet Pink came up with the story about combining James and Jason after, so as to look more ‘respectable’.
+5 Named after a brand of alcohol? You know the baby’s gonna be a rock star.
Total: +5
5. Lady Gaga inspires Wikileaks
Govt. whistleblower and Little Monster. Gaga must be honored,
Yes, Ms. Stefanie Germanotta makes the list twice this week, but we’re not playing favorites, we promise! This story is just too funny to omit! Turns out Pfc. Bradley Manning, the young man responsible for leaking classified government memos to the website Wikileaks managed to steal secrets from the Pentagon using a homemade CD with Gaga music! Here’s a quote from Manning explaining the connection:
“I would come in with music on a CD-RW labelled with something like ‘Lady Gaga’ … erase the music … then write a compressed split file. No one suspected a thing … [I] listened and lip-synched to Lady Gaga’s Telephone while exfiltrating possibly the largest data spillage in American history.” This little monster has got some big balls!
+20 Behold the power of Gaga, world! The security in the Pentagon must have been mesmerized by the insanely catchy hooks of “Telephone”!
Total: +20
Scoreboard:
+30 – Nicki Minaj & Lil’ Kim (WINNER!)
+10 – Lady Gaga
+8 – Pink
+5 – Rihanna
Winner Nicki gets some free promo! Here’s the video to her song “Right Thru Me”. Lil’ Kim, get a new vid out and we’ll post it too! We don’t pick sides!
