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Tune in Tokyo: The Gaijin Diaries - A Gay Travel Memoir

Brooklyn writer Tim Anderson (no relation to the author of this article) recently published a travel memoir about Japan, covering two years of joining a band, going clubbing, record-shopping, and mixing with other gays while teaching English. The book is called "Tune in Tokyo: The Gaijin Diaries," and is a hilarious read reminiscent of David Sedaris and Augusten Burroughs.  Westerners (gaijin) should expect culture shock when out eating, drinking, shopping or dancing in Tokyo, but Anderson finds the inherent humor in some rather bizarre and pathetic situations.  In one chapter, Tim decides to let loose and go clubbing; after munching on some psilocybin mushrooms, his night gets a lot more interesting.

The interior of Tokyo gay bar Arty Farty.

Credit: Flickr - austrini

...I decide to retire to what can best be called The Chill Out Room, a dimly lit enclave to the side of the dance floor with a bunch of black lights and couches.  The room is empty, and I plop myself down on the most comfortable looking couch and assume the "chill out" position, leaning back, stretching out my legs, and opening my arms in a relaxed crucifix pose.  Lifting my head and looking straight ahead, I see the only thing separating me from the dance floor is a wall of glass, so I can keep an eye on my friends and make sure Rache's dancing doesn't take a dangerous turn.  I start noticing that whenever people walk by the glass, they stand and stare in at me for a few seconds, often poking their friends to get them to have a look.

"Wow, this new pomade is really working for me," I think.  I briefly reevaluate the thermal top.  The public seems to like it.  I see Hello Kiddy point at me and start laughing.  Hello Kiddy looks in, her eyes widen, and she slaps her hands over her mouth, the glow-in-the-dark bangles on her wrists twirling around like tiny hula hoops.

Hmm.  Girls crowded together, pointing at me and laughing.  This is starting to feel a little too much like middle school.  What's going on?

Jo and Grant approach the glass, see me, and wave.  They look above me and then back at me.  They giggle.

I look behind me and realize that there is a giant photograph on the wall above the couch.  What is it of?  I get up and turn around to get a better look, but I still can't tell.  It kind of looks like a close-up of an old woman's lips, like when they start growing facial hair around age eighty.  Yeah, that's what it is.  Oh-my-god-no-it's-a-vagina!  A huge black and white photo of a horizontal vagina.  The biggest vagina I have ever seen.  And it looks angry."


I caught up with Tim and asked him a few questions about the book and what to do while in the land of the rising sun.

What would you do if you went back to Tokyo? What neighborhoods would you be most interested to visit? Would you bring Jimmy with you this time?

God, I'm DYING to go back to Tokyo again. I've been back a few times since I lived there, but it's still been a while. I lived in a neighborhood called Koenji, which is west Tokyo and near the Shinjuku district, which most people will know from the movie Lost in Translation. I'd do a number of things, among them:

  • 1. Check out any crazy new skyscrapers and see how fast their elevators go--one I rode the last time I was there was a hella fast cylindrical glass elevator overlooking the street in a building in the Shinbashi area. It was like a freaking amusement park ride without all the screaming. (Well, except for me.)
  • 2. Go record shopping! Honestly, Tokyo is the best record shopping I've ever experienced. So many great stores all over the place, though I'll have to lose a few pounds before being able to squeeze into my favorite one, Disk Union in Shibuya. Trolling for music was probably my favorite thing to do when I lived there. (Well, besides trolling for jeans that would fit me.) You're bound to find some new wave/post-punk thing you've been looking for your whole life that was only released in Japan in a limited edition blue vinyl gatefold sleeve with a packet of bubble bath inside. Such a great feeling when you finally find it!

    Elvis impersonators in Yoyogi Park, Tokyo, Japan.

    Love them tender: Elvis impersonators in Yoyogi Park.  Credit: Tim Anderson

  • 3. A visit to Yoyogi Park on a sunny Sunday is a must. There's, of course, the dancing rockabilly dudes, dudettes, and li'l dudes there, but there's always all sorts of madness going on all over the park.
  • 4. Most importantly, I'd like to see what strides the Japanese have made in hot, smooth, ripped, kendo-trained sexbot technology. (I would name mine Tatsuya.) Probably have to go to the Akihabara neighborhood for that.
  • Yes, I'd bring my boyfriend Jimmy along. He loves record shopping and sexbots, too.

    What was it like self-publishing a book? Would you do it again, knowing what you know now?

    It was actually a very easy decision to make to self-publish the book. I'd spent quite a chunk of time writing and rewriting, getting an agent, developing a proposal, etc., and then I'd waited years and years for the publishing industry to go through its tedious machinations and ultimately determine that they didn't know where in a bookstore to shelve my book, so thanks but no thanks. So I was pretty exasperated by the end of it. Self publishing was just a logical next step, because I know there's an audience for this book, so if publishers don't think they can find it, I'll just find it myself, bitchez. And since it's so much easier these days for a dummy like me to be all fancy and handle the design, layout, and final file preparation than it was even two or three years ago--it was a lot to be in charge of but overall it was pretty easy to do without stumbling too terribly.

    Writer Tim Anderson, photographed in Nakano, Tokyo.

    Author Tim Anderson photographed in Nakano, Japan.

    Of course, the big issue is visibility. But the thing is, even if you get a book deal, it doesn't really mean you'll have support from a publisher or guaranteed visibility. I don't know if you heard what happened with the Village Voice's Michael Musto's latest book (he wrote about it in a recent column), but the long and short of it is that he was getting the runaround from his publisher, and if a hilarious writer with a built-in audience and a huge talent for throwing and attending promotional parties is getting the runaround from his publisher, what hope is there for little gaywads like me trying to make a go of it?

    So obviously my next goal is to have the book available at bookstores, which typically won't stock self-published titles. Independent stores are more amenable to it, though even they have to be courted and wooed like the dickens. (So many sweet nothings. So many reacharounds. So many lap dances.) And if they're not in your town, forget about it. I'm currently trying to get the book stocked in the Manhattan/Brooklyn area and, well, it's a challenge. Tune in Tokyo can be easily found and ordered through Amazon, Powell's, B&N, and a few other sites, but nothing can really compare to the visibility gained by just having a book on bookstore display tables for the world to see.

    In less depressing news, self publishing seems to be finally, grudgingly getting notice. Publisher's Weekly just announced they are going to start up a quarterly list of self-published titles and they're going to be reviewing some of these. So you know I'll be showing up at their offices soon in my Speedos carrying my riding crop and yoga balance ball, ready to do some trix for some piping hot quid pro quo.

    What's the gay scene like in Japan? Any pointers for LGBT tourists?

    Well, I didn't experience the gay scene anywhere outside Tokyo, so I can't really speak to other cities' gay scenes. Tokyo's gay district is called "Ni Chome." That's where the vast majority of gay nightlife is, er, lived. It's pretty stratified into different "scenes" and most places are quite small, but there are certainly fun places to go. This stratification was frustrating at times, because I really wanted to meet a Japanese lesbian and I was thwarted utterly because we just would not have gone to the same venues. The most famous and popular bar for foreign men and the Japanese folks who like to meet them is GB, which allegedly stands for "Ginger Bar" (after Ginger Rogers). Other popular hangouts are Arty Farty (which has hilarious Tex-Mex decor), Dragon, and Rehab. And there's the monthly Ring parties (different club venue each month), which are big, neon, and crazy.

    Is there a drag scene in Tokyo? What kinds of charisma, uniqueness, nerve and talent did you experience?

    You know, I didn't see any drag shows in Tokyo, but drag would certainly sneak up on you sometimes. I went to a bar in Roppongi once and the main bartender/hostess was a short-haired drag queen with huge Jessica Rabbit lips. She had a video playing on the television screen in the corner of her and her drag friends in the park just stone cold posing and blowing kisses. I don't even think it was a gay bar!

    Harajuku crew in Tokyo, Japan

    A Harajuku crew vamps for the camera. Credit: Tim Anderson

    I would say the best display of those four qualities so beloved by RuPaul is in front of Harajuku station every Sunday afternoon, when a bunch of Tokyo teenagers put on their best otherworldly threads and hold their weekly pose-a-thon. They'll be dressed as vampires, zombies, vampire-zombies, Victorian maidens, Victorian vampire zombie maidens, Little Bo Peeps, cyberpunk nuns, rainbow-colored anime warriors, undead pixies, bleeding clowns, vampy rabbits, you name it. This cosplay never failed to make me feel underdressed.

    Lolikon girls outside of Harajuku station.

    These girls are serving Strawberry Shortcake realness in their lolikon ("Lolita complex") getup.

    Credit: Tim Anderson

    Did you see any live music while in Tokyo? Who was big there at the time? What Japanese artists do you like now (if any)?

    Oh, yeah, I really got into lots of Japanese indie while I was there. I didn't go to any big J-pop arena shows, because most J-pop I found quite irritating, but I'd go to live houses to see Japanese bands pretty often. One band that was kind of big there at the time, which I always considered kind of a Japanese Radiohead, was Supercar. They started as kind of a tight 'n bouncy noise-pop band but over the course of a few albums they morphed into an epic, kaleidoscopic rock-pop-electro hybrid. Their album "Futurama" from 2001 is an absolute classic. They broke up a few years ago. I also really got into Yellow Magic Orchestra--they're like the Japanese Kraftwerk, and their stuff has never been released in the US, I don't think. Other stuff I got into: Advantage Lucy, the Cymbals, Polysics, Round Table, Burlesque Engine, Ego Wrappin', Sylvia 55, Thee Michele Gun Elephant, Kahimi Karie, Ex-Girl, and Takako Minekawa. I also beefed up my Pizzicato Five and Cornelius collections. There's always more to get and I'm sure a bunch of fun bands have formed and released great albums since I started this interview...

    Do you still suffer from wanderlust? What other places have you considered traveling to?

    Absolutely. I love living in other countries, and I'm always dying to get on a dang plane and get the f*** out. Jimmy and I were supposed to go to Brazil a couple years ago but for reasons too stupid to mention (but to be included in a future book!) we ended up in Buenos Aires. Which we loved! It was an awesome city and we had a blast. And for Americans it's really cheap these days, since the Argentinean economy collapsed about a decade ago, hurrah! We were looking at what the rents were there and were REALLY wanting to come back and live for a while. It would be awesome to be able to telecommute from Buenos Aires, pay the local rent, and still get paid in American dollars. That would be my dream situation right now, during our new Great Depression. Jimmy could sell paintings, cupcakes, and handjobs by the river (he's expensive), and it would all work out perfectly!

    I really want to go to Iceland and Sweden--would love to trace my Swedish family tree. I'm also dying to go to Rio to see the big Jesus statue. (I'm freakishly interested in seeing big statues, as I detail in Tune in Tokyo.) I'd love to go to Russia and Budapest, too, because why the hell not?

    Tune in Tokyo: The Gaijin Diaries

    Tune in Tokyo: The Gaijin Diaries is available on Amazon, Powell's, and Barnes & Noble.

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