Thankfully, Ryan Lochte doesn’t wear af shirt for the entirety of his appearance on 30 Rock.
It turns out Dylan McDermott will make a return appearance on American Horror Story. No word on if his bare bum will also be back.
Oh. Please. No. The Twilight series might continue past the end of Breaking Dawn Part 2, there may be a TV continuation in the works.
Thanks to my Twitter feed, I know The Great British Bake Off has some pretty loyal fans and now CBS is adapting the competition series, which will just be titled Bake Off.
Eeeee! The amah-zing Polly Walker will appear five episodes of Warehouse 13. She’ll play a “nemesis” of the Warehouse team, I hope they don’t plan to take any baths in the same room as plugged-in electrical appliances anytime soon.
Yes! George Takei has signed up for an appearance on Hawaii Five-0, where he’ll play Chin Ho’s uncle.
Speaking of the Aloha State, Mad Men is getting ready to film scenes for the season premiere in Hawaii. Reports say the scenes will involve Don and Megan. A second honeymoon, perhaps?
TNT has ordered six episodes of L.A. Noir, a period drama from former Walking Dead showrunner Frank Darabont that stars Milo Ventimiglia and Jon Bernthal.
As if Judith Light wasn’t enough reason to get excited about the upcoming season of Dallas, Ted Shackelford and Joan Van Ark will show up for a Ewing family reunion. I’m hoping the Dallas story bible has an entire alternate history of what happened on Knots Landing after Bobby’s death put the spin-off in a separate reality. (In that reality, Jill Bennett is still alive and scheming, of course.)
ABC is developing a medical drama inspired by Walter Reed Army Medical Center. I have to admit, that’s a concept that gets past my usual disinterest in medical dramas.
If you’re curious about hasma, the Chinese delicacy eaten on the season premiere of The Amazing Race (the actual part of the frog that is served is under debate), it’s not available in the U.S., but it will be.
Showtime has ordered a Florida edition of Larry Wilmore’s Race, Religion & Sex In Utah special.
Don’t Trust the B—- in Apartment 23 is planning a mini-crossover with Happy Endings. Unfortunately, we won’t see any of the characters meeting. Instead we’ll learn that June is a fan of the show and a fan who makes shipper videos, including one that puts Chloe with one of the Happy Endings guys.
In further Happy Endings news, those lines about Jane’s sexual experimentation in college weren’t throwaway jokes, we’re going to meet Jane’s college girlfriend.
Live! with Kelly and Michael (syndicated) Check local listings
Isaac Mizrahi’s will try and convince viewers that the upcoming season of Project Runway All Stars has what they want to see — the chance to decide if Ivy Higa and Joshua McKinkley can make Wendy Pepper seem not so bad.
Anderson Live (syndicated) Check local listings
D.L. Hughley and psychic John Edward are on today’s show.
The Vampire Diaries (CW) 8:00 PM ET
Now this has my hopes up. It’s about time the town council became dangerous again, especially as Elena struggles to adapt to her new reality… and if that weren’t bad enough there may be a new vampire hunter in town.
30 Rock (NBC) 8:00 PM ET
Ryan Lochte shows up for a cameo this week. On a show like 30 Rock, I’m guessing either Lochte is either hoping to turn the America’s sexiest d-bag reputation around by trying to become a part of the joke… or Tina Fey managed to sneak all those jokes past him. Then again, this could be like the time Sarah Palin tried to show that she could take all those jokes with good humor by appearing on Saturday Night Live.
The Big Bang Theory (CBS) 8:00 PM ET
Question: Was hearing about Wolowitz asking Raj to drop pencils all night supposed to both reek of hoyay and seem really aloof at the same time? I guess I’ll find out tonight as Wolowitz returns to earth, finally reuniting him with Raj… er, I mean Bernadette.. er, Raj… Bernadette. Both?
Last Resort (ABC) 8:00 PM ET
We get some time stateside tonight as Christine must deal with the repercussions of Sam and the rest of the Colorado crew being declared traitors. I’m the rare viewer more likely to identify with the more ordinary characters (sure, we may all fantasize about having the intelligence and force of will to command a sub or command a criminal empire, but I tend to be drawn to the characters who start out seeming unremarkable), so I’m eager to see more about people like Christine, the family waiting at home when it all went crazy.
Beauty and the Beast (CW) 9:00 PM ET
Oh. Dear. After that pilot, I think the only thing that could bring me back is the Luke MacFarlane appearance promised for the second episode. From the sound of things, he’s the guy Catherine eventually puts behind bars.
The Office (NBC) 9:00 PM ET
Jim pulls off his biggest prank against Dwight yet when he makes a convincing case that the building isn’t safe and Dwight relocates the Dundler-Mifflin office into a bus. I hope that means there’s another field trip coming!
Parks & Recreation (NBC) 9:30 PM ET
Leslie’s focus on the issues troubling Pawnee brings her to tackling the rate of STDs among seniors, leading to her teaching a (presumably awkward, because that’s always funny) sex ed class. Then, Tom tries to live without technology. I give him five minutes before he ends up having one of those “I can’t take this anymore” breakdowns that can be found at the end of many a Twilight Zone episode.
Project Runway (Lifetime) 10:00 PM ET
It’s finally time to pick a new winner. How will Nina steer the judges towards a decision sure to disappoint us all over again?
It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia (FX) 10:00 PM ET
As if the Paddy’s Pub gang weren’t already awful people, thanks to a citywide garbage strike they’re now awful people surrounded by aging trash. Don’t worry, though, it turns out the gang have a plan to turn the strike into a moneymaking opportunity. Of course they do.
Scandal (ABC) 10:00 PM ET
In between giving side-eye to Quinn, Pope & Associates takes a case that goes high enough to even shock Olivia.
Watch What Happens Live (Bravo) 11:00 PM ET
Brandy faces Andy’s questions tonight.
What will you be watching tonight? Please share in the comments!
Anderson Live (syndicated) Check local listings
Philadelphia news anchor Susan Barnett joins Anderson as Hugh Laurie visits to discuss his new movie.
Nikita (CW) 9:00 PM ET
It’s almost time to be scared by Melinda Clarke again, isn’t it?