We thought the stereotype of the repressed Englishman had fallen by the wayside, but Prime Minister David Cameron, the very man who pushed equal marriage through Parliament, is acting prudish about his constituency's access to porn. Today, Cameron announced "the most dramatic step by the government to crack down on the 'corroding' influence of pornography on childhood," forcing Internet users to declare their interest in seeing porn and banning dirty content from new cellphones.

Similarly to Google's "opt-in" filter, Brits will have to check a box if they want porn, leaving open the potential for carriers and authorities to know who's looking at adult material. (There's been no guarantee information will be kept confidential.) The Cameron goverment is also banning porn from public wi-fi. Oddly the directive leaves The Sun's skanky Page 3 photos alone as a matter of "personal choice."

Cameron took a page from Reverend Lovejoy's wife and pleaded with the English to think about the children:

I feel profoundly as a politician, and as a father, that the time for action has come. My argument is that the internet is not a side-line to 'real life’ or an escape from 'real life’; it is real life. It has an impact: on the children who view things that harm them, on the vile images of abuse that pollute minds and cause crime, on the very values that underpin our society.

But it ain't just about kiddie porn: "These images normalise sexual violence against women – and they are quite simply poisonous to the young people who see them."

Hmm, did Cameron lift that from Concerned Women for America?

As Kate Dries writes in Jezebel: "This is as close to a blanket ban on porn as you'll get these days, it creates the notion that pornography is just a uniform mass of terrible content, one with some stuff that's slightly better than others."

Today it's jailbait and rape fantasies. Tomorrow it could be interracial gangbangs and bondage play. Stand up and throw off teh shackles of oppression, Brits! (Unless that's your kink, of course.)