Times are TOUGH out there for a puppet.
Big Bird is in some MAJOR trouble if that old crackerjack Mitt Romney takes the White House, as that bird is gonna find himself out of a job. Maybe he can live in that trash can with Oscar, who we all know is a raging queen.
So why not be funny AND political this Halloween by going as Unemployed Big Bird. It will amuse your friends while also being a reason to talk about what is one of the most important issues this election season — puppet employment.
Here’s how to do it for about 5 bucks. But honestly folks, don’t try any of these idiotic costumes.
What You Will Need
- A handful of yellow feathers
- Some glue
- A forty
- One piece of orange construction paper.
How To Put It Together
- Glue a few assorted yellow feathers across your body. Going naked is best because birds don’t wear clothes. Also, only a few feathers because you are now poor and destitute and poor and destitute birds are totally moulting all the time.
- Get good and sauced on that forty. You want your speech to be slurred and your gait unsteady.
- Try and make a beak out of that construction paper, one that still allows you to drink obviously, and glue it around your mouth. Yes, we are urging you to glue things on your face.
- Bash Mitt Romney all night and tell salacious stories about Rafalca and her German birth. GERMAN. Can Mitt even be president with a German horse?
- YOU’RE UNEMPLOYED BIG BIRD.
Prince Harry Naked: Broke-Ass Halloween
