Watch the Top 7 Moments of the NewNowNext Awards: Paula Abdul, Tongue Action & Glambert

When these two were among the more reserved party attendees, you know it was a good night.

Perhaps you missed last night’s fruit-loopy NewNowNext Awards on Logo. That means you missed Cheyenne Jackson and Niecy Nash hosting a veritable carnival ride of celebs, kookiness, draggy sass, music performances and antics by the likes of Paula Abdul, Perez Hilton, hottie Jesus Luz, Janice Dickinson, Snooki, The Situation, and a busload of drag divas.

But fear not, here’s a quick parade of some of my favorite moments from the night. (And I think there are more than seven, but whatevs…) Consider it a tasting menu of NewNowNext morsels. And you’ll still not be so full that you can’t hammer down your usual Friday evening assortment of beverages.

The Chatroulette Sketch featuring Adam Lambert, George Takei & Cloris Leachman


I love seeing stars on grainy home video. And really, who among us hasn’t stumbled across an American Idol contestant or a Star Trek cast member whilst trolling for internet sex?

Cheyenne Jackson & Alec Mapa grind it, find it & tongue it to death.


Speaking of trolling for sex, the gays are so constantly horned up, even when they’re working (or hosting a TV show) they’re still on the make. And I like the follow-through that Cheyenne Jackson and Alec Mapa exhibit here. Let’s hope nobody had a cold sore. And the “this is like Jaws for ho’s” line from Niecy Nash was one of the best of the night. Get it on, fellas!

Paula Abdul accepts the “Always Next, Forever Now” Icon Award


This part was just really sweet. I loooove me a big celeb tribute montage, and Paula Abdul is nothing without her history of killer music videos to mashup. “Cold Hearted Snake” should be included in every video montage for all time. And then her acceptance speech is so lovely and lucid, it’s downright shocking. Who knew she had it in her?

Snooki, The Situation & Ross Mathews make for a perfect threesome


I think that Ross Mathews is one of the most underrated talents on TV. (Hey Logo! Give him his own show!) Watch him in this fab clip alongside the Jersey Shore’s Snooki and The Situation. His timing is flawless. And the way he trills off “Gin, Tonic & Lime!” is sublime. Call her Miss Ross — the other Boss.

Aisha Tyler Asserts her Draggy Fly Bitchiness & Schools the Reality Stars


Aisha Tyler is a gorgeous actress and comedian, and as a San Francisco native, she knows her way around fagg*try and drag. And she’s a skilled comic who is not afraid to call out the ridiculousness of reality stars. Watch her intro this “Most Addictive Reality Star” award and appreciate.

Mystique and the Drag Race Queens Snatch a Trophy for “The Split”


Glee’s Lea Michele accepts the award for Brink of Fame Actor


Don’t tell her not live she’s simply got to… Everyone’s favorite high-school glee club geek gal (who’s of course actually kinda gorgeous and uber talented) is gay America’s sweetheart these days. And this trophy seals the deal. Check out Lea Michele’s sweet speech. Surprisingly, no one throws a slushy in her face during this entire moment. Weird.

Mike Diamond cusses and talks dirty in the After-Show


Of course, Mike Diamond talks dirty in the pre-show red carpet countdown, too. He tells Perez Hilton he’s “not into stumping,” and his quips prompt Janice Dickinson to storm off in a huff. (But what doesn’t?) And here, interviewed by Jon Mallow, Mike gives his own very personal recap of the night. Somebody get this queen her paycheck, already!

The “Cause You’re Hot Winner” Jesus Luz says exactly the right thing.


“Last night I dreamed of San Pedro…” And by San Pedro I mean Jesus Luz. (P.S. Watch Raven glide in and effortlessly steal a hug and a grope. The woman is a pro.)

Thanks for playing, folks. Need to see the entire NewNowNext Awards show? Just click and you’re there.

John Polly is a former editor at NewNowNext. He now makes the magic happen at World of Wonder.