My boyfriend and I just got engaged after the same-sex marriage bill passed in New York! We’re still wondering what to do as far as jewelry. Does one wear a diamond and not the other? Do we both wear rings? Were do we get them? I’m confused! -Stephen in Syracuse
Congratulations Stephen on taking the plunge into marriage! What’s great about being a pioneer in marriage equality is that you get to start the trends and maybe even set the traditions for future generations of gays and lesbians getting married.
The tradition of the wedding ring spans all the way back to Ancient Egypt. The Egyptians would create a ring out of papyrus and plants. The ring is a circle, symbolizing eternity as it was placed on the third finger known to have a vein that leads directly to the heart. It’s a beautiful symbol of love. It also doesn’t hurt when someone checks out your spouse and that ring shouts, “hands off.”
I recently heard at a party that diamond engagement rings were made popular in the 1930s. Perhaps that’s what got us out of the depression, since they are so expensive. I think the first question would be, do you have a budget for engagement rings for two? I’d say if your taste level can afford you a pair of rings, go for it!
If you can only afford one, then who gets the ring? In modern times, the engagement ring is traditionally worn by the woman in the relationship. I don’t know about you, but I’m not a fan of my straight friends asking me and my partner, “Now, which of you is the girl?” As two men, you can create your own tradition. Perhaps no engagement ring is needed, as you may be interested in wedding bands.
I’m sure every jeweler in New York state squealed with joy when same-sex marriage passed. But if you’re looking for those who cater to same-sex nuptials, LoveandPride.com has a wide range of prices for wedding bands for same-sex couples. Also New York City Jeweler Firenze Jewels expressed their interest in gay nuptials. Italian designer and a supporter of marriage equality Alessandro Barellini has beautifully crafted classic bands and with some new concepts.
Whatever you decide, I hope every time you look at your wedding band you’re reminded of the beautiful symbolism: your spouse loves you even when you’re apart.
Have a wedding question? Ask now or put it in the comments!
Your wedding columnist Shawn Hollenbach is a former make-up artist, friend to LOTS of married folks, comedian and one of the social media guys for @LogoTV, @RuPaulsDragRace and for himself at @ShawnHollenbach.
