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What Was Really Going Through Lori Michael's Head During Her Duet With Danielle Staub

Last night, on Watch What Happens Live, the craziest real housewife of the Garden State got 100% REAL. Danielle Staub, alledged prostitution whore, sang the duet of her easy listening life with hot lesbian rocker, Lori Michael. She also may have come out as a lesbian, but that's a post for another day.

Now, was it just me, but did anyone else think Lori looked more than a little uncomfortable? I'm not saying she was being held hostage by Danielle's possy of Hell's Angels, but the main lyric of the song was "Why am I scared to be so close to you?"

And so: What was really going through Lori Michael's head during her duet with Danielle Staub.

"Is that blade in my back a switch or gravity? IF I COULD ONLY SEE OVER THIS PLEATHER"

"OH! There it is. That's a switch. Just focus on the keys, Lori. FOCUS"

"How far is it to that door. 20 feet? But even if I make it, I'll never get past Chuck and Big Bones."

"Look at those eyes. 20/20 Death Vision. You know what else is 20/20? HINDSIGHT! Why, Lori, Why? Stupid. Stupid."

"What is she saying? Something about if she touches my hair I get the money, if not I'm dead"

"What are you even gonna do with that money, Lori. You don't need another boat. Maybe I can single Andy Cohen by blinking morse code"

"Stupid Lori. What did you think Andy Cohen was a boy scout? Crap. That face doesn't look happy. I'm dead."

"Woo hoo! I did it! No regrets! Where's mama's money!! Drinks on the Lido Deck, y'all."

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