Who Needs “American Idol?” We Have The Eurovision Song Contest Cheesefest

Europe takes pop to a whole new level of fromage.

Missing the good ol’ days of American Idol in its prime? Well, if you love cheesy enthusiasm, gay kisses and saccharine-sweet fake sincerity, you should have tuned into the 2013 Eurovision Song Contest, which wrapped in Malmö, Sweden, last night.

This year’s winner, Emmelie de Forest from Denmark, stole fans hearts with her like-totally-really-intense ballad “Only Teardrops.”


But there were dozens of cheesetastic entries during the show, viewed by more than 100,000 fans worldwide, from Germany’s Cascada singing “Glorious” to Finland’s Krista Siegfrids and her wedding anthem, “Marry Me,” complete with scripted lesbian kiss. (And that’s not even counting Swedish television presenter Petra Mede marrying two men during the break.)

And we can’t ignore the sheer majesty of Romanian vampire-opera Cezar singing “It’s My Life.”


Dan Avery is a writer-editor who focuses on culture, breaking news and LGBT rights. His work has appeared in Newsweek, The New York Times, Time Out New York, The Advocate and elsewhere.