LANGFORD'S PICKS AND PANS

Days of Our Lives (U.S.)

Good grief. Adrienne and Sonny’s talk about Sonny’s feelings for Paul is something they should have discussed months ago. Oh wait. They did, several times. Yet they’re having the same conversation as if they’ve never gotten into it before.

So that scene at the pub is probably the last we’ll see of Derrick. Too bad. He was hot and he and Paul had chemistry, even if the actor was pretty weak. I think the show should have kept him around, especially with Sonny leaving. Maybe have Derrick and Paul trying to make a real go of things with Will scheming to destroy them.

I love Kate being bitchy to Paul. It’s awesome.

For once, Will is right. Paul did rush over to tell Sonny about him and Derrick just to let Sonny know that he was still available.

This show must be skipping around and having cut scenes and stuff. John and Paul had the talk about Paul calling John “Dad”, but Paul did that with little notice weeks ago.

THANKS TO PINKYSWEAR FOR THE CLIPS!

Doctors (U.K.)

That was a strange and a little sad story to end this Sean arc on. I’m sorry to see him go and it’s not likely he’ll be back. I’m just hoping we get to see more gays on this show going forward, perhaps a permanent basis.

Emmerdale (U.K.)

I’m surprised that Chrissie confessed to causing the accident. I thought that story point would drag on for months. However, while Eric is being all irate at Chrissie, he is conveniently forgetting that Val would have never been in that house of mirrors of he hadn’t of locked her in there.

Umm... Chrissie confessed to causing an accident that killed three people, yet the police allowed her to up and leave town with no plans of returning? Nope, that wouldn't happen. And the show’s way of writing Robert out for a period of time was just as ludicrous. I know the show did it to give those characters and story a rest while they focus on other things, but it reeks of ridiculous plot contrivances.

I’m enjoying seeing Finn being angry and bitter and upset about what’s happened. But attacking an elderly man twice his age? I didn’t need to see that.

Chas needs to shut up about Aaron and Robert. How did Robert ruin Aaron’s life? Aaron willingly had an affair with a man he knew was married and he got a successful (until it was blown up) business out of it. Any pain Aaron suffered was self-inflicted (except for Robert trying to kill Aaron, but Chas doesn’t know about that). And came out of it unscathed. So I’m not seeing how Aaron’s life is ruined at all . By the way, where is Aaron? His family is in turmoil and he’s disappeared. I guess like Chrissie and Robert’s portrayers, the actor is on a break, but they’re not even bothering to give Aaron a sloppy exit.

General Hospital (U.S.)

So Brad is secretly married to Rosalie? Who the heck is Rosalie?! For someone who doesn’t watch the show daily or even weekly I had no idea who this chick was though it was obvious by GH’s usual ham fisted writing that she would be revealed as Brad’s wife by the end of the episode.

Now I’ve been told that Rosalie has been on the show for about a year and viewers knew she had a secret, but didn’t know what that secret was until now. She was even being blackmailed by longtime villainess Helena Cassadine over this secret. Why being married to Brad had to be kept such a secret remains to be seen, but the whole thing seems kind of lame and thrown together to me.

There is simply no way this show always planned this plot twist. GH simply doesn’t do that kind of plotting. The entire fake Luke storyline is evidence the show just slaps it all together and hope it makes sense. Clearly they’re just making it up as they are going on along and threw Rosalie into Brad and Lucas’ story. The question is, why should we care about this? Rosalie is a minor character at best and Brad and Lucas are treated like afterthoughts.

Is this story going to tie into bigger more important drama on the show or will play out every few weeks in it’s own little island? I suspect it’s the latter. I’d be shocked if this story actually became important on the show or involved little more than the three people involved. Or it will probably become more about Rosalie and the guys will fade into the background.

Hollyoaks (U.K.)

Scott drooling over Ste’s scrawny body? Ew.

Ste actually fell for Scott’s HIV story? Ste should realize that Sinead did the same thing (twice, I think). That’s probably where Scott got the idea from. This show having characters making false HIV claims is a plot device they’ve used far too often. I gotta admit though, I miss the days when men regularly wore shorts as short as the ones Scott had on.

Sinead and Ste planning on getting their baby christened is hilarious when the only time these two go to church is for one of their ill-fated marriages. I did like Sinead’s rant about why Tony shouldn’t be the godfather though. So true!

Loving the camera lingering over Harry’s super hot body. But when did Harry start working at the restaurant? Did I miss a plot point?

Why is Harry all hurt about Cleo dumping him when he’s A) gay and B) lusting after Ste? BTW, I liked the potential of a John Paul/Harry match, but having Ste and Scott after Harry too is a bit much. Does any gay man on this show not want to date teenage boys? And of course this Ste/Harry thing is moving way too fast, per usual.

That side shot of Scott trying to look up Lockie’s kilt is perfection.

Porsche is turning 21? No offense to the actress, who is beautiful, but she looks way older than that.

Is Tom ever going to grow up? It seems like he’s been a little boy forever.

So Robbie accidentally shoves Jason off a cliff and a little while later is hooking up with Jason’s girlfriend, Holly? Gross, even by this show’s ever lowering standards.

So Dylan went from being an emo crossdresser to a drug dealer in a couple of weeks? Typical Hollyoaks. I’d ask what the point of all this is, but given what is supposed to happen to Dylan soon, I’d say there probably won’t be one. It’s all about the plot.

I like the potential of a Joe/Mercedes romance. I think they’d be good for each other, but I suspect Hollyoaks will ruin it like they do every other good love story with lots of cheating and dumb plot twists.

House Husbands (Australia)

How did they go from Kane and Alex deciding the other would be the sperm donor to Kane being the donor? They never explained that. After all, Alex was planning on having the baby with Eve to begin with, so why the change? I know it’s because Kane is a lead character and Alex is a supporting player, but I would have liked to have known the logistics of how they worked that out.

I do like the twist of the guys and Eve deciding to ask Abi to carry a baby for them. I’m sure after lots of dithering and drama she’ll agree to do it. But my favorite part of the whole plot point was Abi talking about how people can count on her by saying “I’m reliable-ish” Loved it.

Neighbours (Australia)

When Kyle and Sheila told Nate that Chris was seeing someone new, I thought it was funny that Nate was shocked. If he knew anything about Chris’ history, he’d know what Chris never stayed single for long. In little more than a year, Chris dated Hudson, Will and Nate. Not to mention a one night stand or two. That boy got around.

Interesting that unlike all their previous gay romances, the show isn’t rushing Aaron and Nate getting together. Personally, I’d rather they just forget the whole thing. I like Aaron and Nate and think they are interesting individually. But as a couple, they just don’t work. No chemistry, nothing in common. It's all so forced.

River City (Scotland)

I think it’s pretty obvious Alex is going to be murdered very soon. He think he’s got everything he wants while he stands in a room full of his enemies and people he’s either crossed or blackmailed. That’s a recipe for his doom. Kelly-Marie will be the prime suspect of course. I just hope Patrick doesn’t turn out to be the killer.

Speaking of Patrick, it’s strange that Will and Robbie decided to end their marriage, but barely discussed Patrick, except for Robbie saying it’s his fault they were breaking up. Then again, Will did say that Finn was the only reason they were staying together which is probably the truth. I remember Will telling Robbie, who was reluctant to foster, that he would do it with Robbie or without him and Robbie went along with it to placate his husband.

And at the time when they were fostering Finn, Robbie constantly complained that all of Will’s love and attention went towards Finn and Will wasn’t much of a husband. And when Finn went to live with his sister, Will immediately wanted to bring in a new child, probably to deal with the fact that he just wasn’t happy with Robbie and he alone. The marriage was in decline long before Robbie cheated on Will.

Perhaps they never should have reunited to begin with. That too, never made much sense. I do like how the show played out this long, clearly thought out story arc in a realistic fashion. You just usually don’t see that kind of storytelling on soaps. But River City has always been good at that.

I wonder what’s ahead for Will and Robbie and Patrick. It’ll be interesting to see how the show handles three gay men on the canvas when none of them are sleeping together.

Shortland Street (New Zealand)

I guess Jack and Edwin having their talk about Edwin moving out and going back home off screen pretty much says how the show feels about this storyline. Those are the kind of story points we should be seeing, if the show is treating this like a real relationship and it’s going to be an actual story. But I guess it won't. Jack said they were still together, but I wonder if we’ll ever see Edwin again. It’s like with Alex and Joe when most of their story took place off screen. Hmm....

The Haves and The Have Nots (U.S.)

Ugh. Wyatt raped in prison? I do hope his parents can live with themselves. It’s totally on them that this happened. When will Kathryn realize that Jim’s dumb plans to solve their problems never work?

I’m confused. I thought Jeffery said two weeks ago that his mother had changed the locks on his apartment and he had no place to stay. That’s why Candace offered to help Jeffery with staying at the hotel, right? So why did he go there as if the place was still his? But hey, I don’t feel sorry for Jeffery. He put himself in this situation by being so weak and pathetic. I know he ran off to confront Veronica for her latest manipulations, but at the end of the day he’s going to marry Melissa. Sigh.

The Fosters (U.S.)

I wondered when the show would address the issue of sex between the boys. After all, they are at that age when they are curious about such things. And despite Jude’s insistence they weren't and wouldn't have sex, things happen and sometimes it can go further than you intend. I liked Lena’s talk with Jude and I really liked Jude later saying to Connor that ‘for a lesbian she sure knows a lot about how two guys have sex’. LOL! However, I couldn’t help but think that if this had been a straight boy and girl, we would have seen on screen them making out and getting caught by Connor’s dad.

That final scene made me mist up. It was really sweet and I’m glad that Jude understood why Connor had to go. I’m guessing Jude will meet someone new when the show returns next year and then Connor will come back?

Chris Bruno, who plays Connor’s homophobe dad is hotter now than when he played gay Michael Delany back in the 90’s on All My Children. Yum!

THIS WEEK IN SPOILERS

Coronation Street - After Jason is brutally beaten, Todd rushes to be there for his family, even though they hadn’t bothered to contact him about the attack. Eileen makes it clear that the past is not forgotten and that Todd isn’t welcome at the hospital. Worse, Todd is hurt to overhear his mother making it clear to Tony which one is the favored son.

Hollyoaks - Trapped together, Harry and Ste kiss for the first time, but Ste insists the kiss was a mistake and he’s committed to Sinead. Later, after Hannah’s christening, Harry is jealous to see Ste and Sinead playing the happy couple. Speaking of jealousy, John Paul is upset to see Lockie and Porsche having a good time at her party..

TEASERS FOR NEXT WEEK

Coronation Street - Todd offers to donate a kidney to save Jason...

Days Of Our Lives - Will rages at Paul for Sonny leaving town.....

Emmerdale - Finn is horrified to learn that Pete murdered Ross...

Hollyoaks - John Paul’s affair with Lockie is exposed; Ste fears he’s exposed Sinead to HIV...

House Husbands - Kane works up the nerve to ask his sister to carry a baby for he, Alex and Eve....

Neighbours - Thanks to Aaron, Nate suffers a nasty injury.....

River City - Things get even more complicated between Will and Robbie....

Shortland Street - Jack lays down the law with Edwin...

That’s it for this edition of Langford On Soaps. See you next week. Please leave your comments and thoughts below.