Chick-fil-A was once again in the news yesterday for donating a reported $2 million to antigay groups in 2010, this despite claims by the fast food provider that they do not support an antigay agenda. To get a better grasp on the topic, we here at NewNowNext decided to contact the world’s foremost expert on both homophobia AND Chick-fil-A, Willam.
This is what the always wise queen told us in a statement:
“While it’s true Chick-fil-A’s hatemeat is delicious, I found a recipe online duplicating their signature sandwiches. Even though I failed miserably and almost set my house a-blaze, I did have delightful gay intercourse after. But seriously, If you’re going to eat there, no matter what, make sure to steal everything that isn’t nailed down. I mean it. Get a bathroom token and take all their toilet paper (after blowing some guys in there), their plungers, hell even the seat itself. Make them give you about 20 Polynesian sauces too. And hey. If that doesn’t work, write a song about them and get a few million views.”
We hope these words comfort, eduate and excite you this holiday week.