Hello, X Factor lovers! After a bit of a hiatus, it’s nice to see you again. We know that the absence of your favorite post on all of the interwebs has been devastating – just, devastating. But, listen, even high end, hard hitting journalists need a break every now and then. We have lives. We take vacations. So, just back off, ok? Back. Off.
JUST KIDDING! LOVE YOU! MEAN IT!
So, when we left you, the final 24 contestants were traveling to the judges’ homes to compete for a spot on the live shows. Only 16 could continue and, Lord, have the tears been-a-flowin’! We’ve said this before, but, goodness, these youngsters cry a lot! Also, a large number of them seem to believe that the only way to make their families proud is to win the X Factor. Don’t get us wrong. A 5 million dollar contract is certainly something to celebrate. But, whatever happened to folks being proud of their kids for making good grades or winning a little league game or just being awesome kids? Seriously, we cringe, every time a contestant dramatically wales, “I JUST WANT TO MAKE MY FAMILY PROUD!!!” Geez! Calm down. We’re sure your family loves you no matter the results of a mediocre televised talent show. But, we’re getting off topic here.
Sadly, there haven’t been many gay moments to report from the past couple of weeks. There was a crazy programming debacle last week due to a sportsball/weather situation that cut the show in half. That was kind of exciting. Also, there have been a few surprises. Cheetah face, CeCe Frey, got rid or that hideous fake tattoo and rocked out a slowed down, sultry version of LMFAO’s “Sexy and I Know It.” SoCal boy band trio, Emblem 3, totally bit it on their lyrics while performing in Simon’s back yard. And, Demi Levato dropped Jillian Jensen (the poster child for bullying with a raspy, Janice Joplin kind of vibe that Levato totally connected with on episode one) like a bad habit. All shocking!
So, with all four groups assembled and ready to go live, here are our picks for the best team and potential winner(s):
*Britney Spears with the Teens – This is a no brainer. Brit’s team is – BY FAR – the best and, regardless of our undying love and admiration for this pop legend, who knows the ups and downs of being a teen performer better than Miss Spears? She is sure to make the already talented bunch all-stars!
*Carly Rose Sonenclar – Like we said, all the kids on her team are good, but our money has been on this little diva from the beginning. Not only is she cute as a button and sweet as pie, but her vocals are fiercer than RuPaul tap dancing on Mitt Romney’s face.
Demi Levato with the Young Adults
*Jenell Garcia – This raspy voiced young lady reminds us of the ultimate talent show winner of all time: Kelly Clarkson. With natural beauty and fierce performances, Janell could go all the way.
L.A. Reid with the Over 25’s
*Jason Brock – Oh, how we love this larger than life man in black. His personality is infectious and his vocals are out of this world. We’re hoping America embraces this out and proud show stopper with open arms!
*Simon Cowell with the Groups – Mr. Cowell is the only mentor that could rival Brit Brit for the win. He does know a thing or two about launching groups and with acts like his, he could come out on top.
*Sister C – These girls serve us Dixie Chicks realness each week and while they always seem a bit overwhelmed, they sure do bring it when they open their mouths to sing. That’s when the harmony magic happens.
*Emblem3 – While we haven’t forgotten their homophobic slur from a few weeks ago, this hot boy band turns surfer rock on its head and will most certainly melt the hearts of teen girls around the country.
Previously: ‘X Factor’ Recap: Britney Breaks Down