The perfect gift for the special someone in your life (that you hate) now exists! Dicks By Mail is an online company that will deliver a plastic bag of gummy penises to anyone you choose along with a note demanding the recipient “Eat a bag of dicks.”

The best part? The whole thing is anonymous, so you can target a tyrannical boss, a cheating ex or, perhaps, Stefano Gabbana.

Related: You Can Now Ship An Envelope Full Of Glitter To Your Enemies

The mail order website offers a hilarious backstory for the company:

We have a long history of sending dicks to people. Starting in middle school with those folded notes, that unfold to a big veiny cock. Moving to texting '8===D' to random people in high school all the way to snapchatting below the belt pics to ladies from the bar/church. But now it's on to bigger and better things; now it's on to Dicks by Mail.

Take a look at their mesmerizing promo video.

The service is cheap and easy (just like your enemy), so reach out and hurt someone today.