Hugh Dancy and Laura Linney

Earlier this year, based on my previews of the first three episodes of the Showtime series The Big C, I said that the show was considerably stronger than it was in its first season.

I totally stand by that assessment — having watched eight episodes, I'd now say it even more emphatically.

But the show is currently in the middle of a "gay" storyline that I think is downright remarkable. If you're already watching, you know what I mean. If you're not, YOU MUST START WATCHING IMMEDIATELY, BECAUSE TONIGHT'S EPISODE IS THE BEST YET!

That emphatic enough for you? I don't sound the gay clarion call very often, but I'm ringing it now.

The Big C tells the story of Cathy (Laura Linney), who in the first season was diagnosed with terminal cancer. That season was all about her being in the "death" stage of "denial."

This season, she's told her family members and started treatment on an experimental new drug. That sounds to me like she's in the stage of "bargaining" and has mostly skipped the "grief" stage, but maybe she did two stages at once.

Anyway, during her experimental treatment, she met Lee (played by Hugh Dancy), another cancer survivor who initially seemed obnoxious (too obnoxious — one of the season's few false notes so far). An episode ago, we also learned that Lee is gay.

But in tonight's episode, "Goldilocks and the Bears," we learn much more about Lee, including that he's attracted to "bears." In fact, Lee is attracted to Cathy's husband Paul (Oliver Platt), who is both uncomfortable and strangely intrigued by the idea of being a sex object. Lee eventually offers to take them to the local bear bar where he even has a fleeting sexual encounter in the back room.

(Side-note: while watching this episode, I realized for the first time

what a "panda bear" is. It's an Asian bear! How can I be in my forties

and not have made that connection before?!)

There are so many ways this episode, and this whole "gay" story arc (which isn't finished yet) could've gone wrong. It could've been played for laughs, yet another example of "gay panic" humor, or it might also have been the familiar story of the gay-man-as-weird-and-alien-species, or it could've dealt in all the usual "best gay friend" cliches.

Instead, the show does something really, really interesting: Lee's primal, free-floating sexuality becomes a catalyst that affects both Paul and Cathy in fundamental ways.

Hairy, flabby Paul is absolutely intoxicated by the newfound attention. It doesn't make him question his sexuality — that would've been a cliche worthy of Ryan Murphy.

(Another side-note: I may finally be ready to forgive Oliver Platt, but

not Ryan Murphy, for a gay

character I did find offensive: Freddy Prune on Nip/Tuck, a

middle-aged man with extremely stereotypical gay mannerisms who everyone thinks is gay, but who identifies as straight (ha ha), and who finally realizes he's gay by

being anally raped. Um, okay.)

No, Lee's overt sexuality in The Big C doesn't makes Oliver think he's gay; it makes him more heterosexual. In an upcoming episode, he says to Cathy when he's feeling particularly randy, "God, that man makes me so f**king horny!"

Again, he's not questioning his sexuality (something that's been done 50,000 times before). He's rediscovering his existing sexuality.

Likewise, Lee's relationship with Cathy has skipped over all the BGFF cliches: the make-over, the snappy come-backs as the gay guy commiserates with the woman about her terrible love life — again, all things that have been done 50,000 times before, stuff that was already tired even when Will & Grace did it back in the 90s.

Instead, the show explores the very novel idea that Lee's open sexuality and lack of repression helps Cathy discover new layers to her sexuality too. There's an absolutely fascinating scene in the "Goldilocks" episode where Cathy is in the bath and talking to Lee on the phone. They start a meditation sequence that slowly segues into Cathy quietly masturbating to his voice.

Wow. Just ... wow.

There's also some pretty funny, and bold, humor as Cathy and Paul try to figure out the various "bear" terminology.

Hugh Dancy, Oliver Platt, and Laura Linney visit a "bear" bar

I'm not sure how I would've felt ten years ago about gay

television character like Lee, someone so promiscuous — a sexuality

that is pretty clearly presented as being fundamentally different from

"straight" sexuality.

But the thing is, there are now enough different gay characters on

television, and different kinds of gay characters, that I think the

viewing audience (or at least the premium cable viewing one!) is

sophisticated enough to understand that Lee does not represent "all" or even "most"

gay men. At the same time, such a free-floating, unencumbered sexuality definitely does exist among some gay men, and kudos to the show for sensitively and accurately acknowledging it.

Indeed,

Lee's view of sexuality and intimacy is a perfect illustration of his

character, which is all about "letting go" of life and all its

attachments (in preparation for an impending death). In that sense, the character comes across as very human and very sympathetic.

It's interesting to me that there was a time when gay characters were

regularly de-sexed for

television, but lately the opposite seems to be true, at least on

premium

cable.

Anyway, this all struck me as extremely interesting — and also

really, really "real." I can't remember watching a gay storyline that

resonated with such authenticity for me. It's bold and complicated and

thought-provoking. Is there a difference between how many straight people view sex versus how many gay people do?

I have no definitive answers (and neither does The Big C). But it's definitely found a fundamental truth about the particular characters it's showing us. It's also asking more universal questions that are absolutely worth pondering.

What can "straight people" learn from "gay people"? (And — spoiler alert! — what can gay people learn from straight ones?)

In the bigger picture, season two of The Big C is becoming all about sex: Cathy's son Adam is experimenting with hook-ups and even prostitutes; Andrea (Gabourey Sidibe) is becoming sexual with her new boyfriend; and Cathy's brother (played by the wonderful out actor John Benjamin Hickey) and best friend (played by just-as-wonderful out actor Cynthia Nixon) are dealing with an unplanned pregnancy.

This is counter-intuitive: a show about cancer is all about sex? But it also makes perfect sense in retrospect. After all, sex is all about life, which is the opposite of death, and the two forces are completely intertwined: it's impossible to talk about one without also talking about the other.

Okay, I've rambled on enough about this damn show. Just promise me you'll watch tonight's episode, okay?

The Big C airs Monday nights at 10:30 PM on Showtime