Your Week in Beefcake: “The Witches of East End” Prodigal Stud and a “True Blood” Farewell

The TV landscape had an extra plentiful bounty of shirtless hunks showing off ripped, hard-earned physiques and that makes the latest Your Week in Beefcake especially fun. Not only do we get to see if The Witches of East End can beat last season’s hunk quotient, General Hospital had an epic day of shirtlessness.

The glorious cheese platter of magic and hot guys that is The Witches of East End came back Sunday. I’ll be honest, I had a hard time following the plot because it looks like Lifetime took away their lighting budget. Still, murky as things were, the show did introduce us to Joanna’s son Frederik (Christian Cooke) who casts sinister magic spells in the forest shirtless.

Christian Cooke shirtless in 'The Witches of East End"
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After reuniting with his mother and his distrusting Aunt Wendy we see him in his room. But there’s a plot reason for his shirtlessness! He’s got a scar in the shape of the sigil that keeps showing up. Again, sinister.

Christian Cooke shirtless in 'The WItches of East End"Christian Cooke shirtless in 'The WItches of East End"
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The second episode of Reckless offered some shirtless Adam Rodriguez in a context that wasn’t disturbing. Thankfully.

Adam Rodriguez shirtless in "Reckless"

Reckless also introduced Arliss (Falk Hentschel), the husband of the woman accusing the police of sexual harassment and rape.

Falk Hentschel shirtless on "Reckless"

And then there was some miscellaneous Cam Gigandet shirtlessness.

Cam Gigandet shirtless in "Reckless"Cam Gigandet shirtless in "Reckless"
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This week, True Blood featured a flashback to the days when Eric (Alexander Skarsgard)’s hair was floppy and when he didn’t care about vampire politics or rules.

 Alexander Skarsgard shirtless in "True Blood"

It also offered a Alcide (Joe Manganiello) wrapping himself in a towel to walk around Sookie’s house.

Joe Manganiello shirtless in "True Blood"

We also saw Alcide (in his wolf form) run into Sam (Sam Tremmell) in his dog form. They switched to their human form and stared at each other naked in the woods until someone from rudely interrupted them with gunfire.

Sam Trammell nude in "True Blood"

We’ll miss you Alcide. At least, we’ll miss you as much as we can miss any True Blood character these days.

 Joe Manganiello nude in "True Blood"

On The Leftovers, we learned what Patterson Joseph’s “HolyWayne’s cult is based on the claim that he gives hugs that can make all the bad feelings from the Disappearance go away. Apparently, he also needs to lose his shirt before giving one of his magic hugs, based on him taking off his shirt before trying to “heal” Tom (Chris Zylka).

Patterson Joseph shirtless with Chris Zylka on "The Leftovers"
Aw. Hoyay averted.

Meanwhile, Kevin (Justin Theroux) had a dream where he thought his daughter’s friend was hitting on him, except it turned out she was just leading him to another moment of weirdness involving a deer. I’m starting to think they’re working up to a reveal that Kevin falls asleep gorging himself on sriracha snack mix (implausible, I know, considering his abs) while watching Princess Mononoke.

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American Ninja Warrior got blatant with the beefcake this week as Evan Dollard posed like it was time for the college track team to make their fundraiser calendar and talked about how shirts were too constricting for the American Ninja Warrior course.

Evan Dollard shirtless on "American NInja Warrior"

A new challenge, “Cannon Ball Alley”, turned out to be a huge challenge. 15 competitors fell, but even in defeat Dorian Cedars looked glorious.

Dorian Cedars shirtless in "American Ninja Warrior"

Are we sure Kyle Cochran isn’t going to be Mr. August? He’d make a great Mr. August.

Kyle Cochran shirtless on "American Ninja Warrior"

Dear American Ninja Warrior. Please stop relegating stuntman Dan Mast and his collection of novelty-print briefs to the “While you were away” montage. Such a waste.

Dan Mast shirtless on "American Ninja Warrior"

For those who started the course wearing a shirt, thankfully some of them like AlanThe BeastConneally dumped the muscle T in celebration of passing the first few obstacles.

Alan Connealy shirtless on American Ninja Warrior

Travis Brewer also joined the celebratory strip tease club.

Travis Brewer shirtless on "American NInja Warrior"

Meanwhile, acrobat Brennan Mejia took no chances and got rid of his shirt before hitting the septuple steps. I owe him a thank you card.

 Brennan Mejia shirtless on "American Ninja Warrior"

In the end it was hairless newcomer Kevin Bull who beat Cannonball Alley.

  Kevin Bull shirtless in "American NInja Warrior"

I guess we have axe murderers now on Teen Wolf? Whatever this new axe-weilding villain may be, he did attack at Sean (Glenn McCuen)’s bedtime, which meant Sean was wearing just a pair of sweatpants when he decided to check what was under the bed.

Glenn McCuen shirtless in "Teen Wolf"source

Thankfully, he got away after hiding out in the bathroom for a moment.

Glenn McCuen shirtless in "Teen Wolf"
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Meanwhile, Teen Wolf introduced new La Crosse team player Garrett (played by Flowers in the Attic’s Mason Dye). He was wearing such tight top that I have a feeling we’ll be seeing him here again soon.

Mason Dye in "Teen Wolf"
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The Bridge surprised fans in its return Thursday when Sonya hooked up with Jack Dobbs (Nathan Phillips), the brother of the guy who killed Sonya’s sister.

Nathan Phillips shirtless in "The Bridge"

This week, Dominion started with Michael being rushed to medical care after being run through by Gabriel’s sword. It didn’t take long for him to be well enough to indulge in his usual after-sex mope.

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However, Michael’s brooding time was interrupted by an angel attack.

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The story, this week involved a Senator demanding to see that the Chosen One was real. That meant a plot reason for Alex (Chris Egan) to take off his shirt.

Chris Egan shirtless on "Dominion"

Days of Our Lives celebrated Independence Day with a picnic by the lake, which gave us several minutes of Will (Guy Wilson), Tad (Brendan Coughlin) and Ben (former The Price is Right model Rob Wilson) hanging out shirtless. We don’t see the fake trees of the lake set often enough.

Guy Wilson, Brendan Coughlin and Rob Wilson shirtless on "Days of Our Lives"

And on Tuesday, Brady (Eric Martsolf) declared Theresa’s apartment way too warm to wear a shirt.

Eric Martsolf shirtless on "Days of Our LIves"

Tuesday, General Hospital started with Shawn (Sean Blakemore) going for a shirtless jog and running into Alexis.

Sean Blakemore shirtless on "Genrral Hospital"

Thursday, General Hospital did its best to wear out the PrtScn button on my keyboard. First we learned that even a quiet night of watching a DVD of The Golden Girls ends with Lucas (Ryan Carnes) and Felix (Marc Samuel) in their undies.

Marc Samuel and Ryan Carnes shirtless on "General Hospital"

Next we learned that Nathan (Ryan Paevey) is the kind of roommate who gets undressed before he walks from his bedroom to the shower. We’re preparing our roommate application now.

Ryan Paevey shirtless on "General Hospital"

Thankfully, Levi’s powers of being super-annoying manifested in the form of keeping the shower occupied, forcing Nathan to decide he’ll shower at work. That gave him a chance to lose his shirt again for a chat with a co-worker in the PCPD locker room.

Ryan Paevey shirtless on "General Hospital"

Meanwhile, Patrick (Jason ) lost a patient, prompting him to take the shower of shame.

Jason Thompson showering on "Genera' Hospital"

Patrick also had a shirtless conversation with a work colleage (this time Felix) in the staff changing room. Maybe they’re trying to see if they can have most of the show happen in work staff changing rooms.

Jason Thompson shirtless on "General HospitaL"

Things ended with Brad interrupting Felix’s shower to have a discussion about Lucas not sharing the shirtless time with Brad.

Marc Samuel shirtless on "General Hospital"

What an amazing day in Port Charles.

First, I need to play some catch up. It turns out (thanks to D Wesley) Murder in the First has had a decent amount of Tom Felton shirtlessnes, like when he angrily changes his top:

Tom Felton shirtless in "Murder in the First"Tom Felton shirtless in "Murder in the First"
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And when he has creepy, disturbing sex.

Tom Felton shirtless in "Murder in the First"Tom Felton shirtless in "Murder in the First"
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Meanwhile, I spent the July 4th holiday failing to get cable channels to stream video. It was like they all insisted on taking the holiday off. It turned out I missed ABC Family’s new comedy Young & Hungry getting Jonathan Sadowski shirtless.

Jonathan Sadowski shirtless in "Young & Hungry"

Meanwhile, Fox alerted me to Matt Atkinson’s towel scene on last Thursday’s The Young and the Restless.

Matt Atkinson shirtless on "The Young and the Restless"

That’s it this week. Is there anything we missed or something you’d like us to know about? Drop us a line at weekinbeefcake@outlook.com! These last few came with the help of reader tips!

Lyle Masaki is a fan of obscure superheroes, video games, adorkable guys and that show you loved that got cancelled way too soon.
@LyleMasaki