Ingrid Nilsen's 3.3 million YouTube followers are used to her giving sage advice on fashion and beauty. But last night she shared something different: That she's gay.

In a 20-minute video that saw her vacillate from joy to anxiety, the 26-year old social media influencer talked about how she used to feel like she had to “put [my sexuality] in a cabinet and lock it up,”

“I have had this wall up for so much of my life, but it wasn’t like this brick or stone wall,” says Nilsen, a judge on the youth-oriented Project Runway Threads. “I’ve described it to my friends as this glass wall, where you could see me but you were never getting all of me, because there was always that barrier there.”

She adds,  “I am proud of who I am and I am not going to apologize for who I am anymore. This is the life that I have always lived in my head—and now it’s real."

Now that's the ultimate beauty secret.