Gays Get Blamed For Pope’s Early Retirement, Naturally

His Popeness and some hunky acrobats. (Getty Images)

His Popeness and some hunky acrobats. (Getty Images)

The Vatican, “a seething hotbed of intrigue and infighting,” has dusted off its favorite scapegoat. Gays being all gay and ruining things with their gayness, that’s why fancypants Pope Benedict XVI threw in the towel. The Guardian reports:

A potentially explosive report has linked the resignation of Pope Benedict XVI to the discovery of a network of gay prelates in the Vatican, some of whom – the report said – were being blackmailed by outsiders.

The pope’s spokesman declined to confirm or deny the report, which was carried by the Italian daily newspaper La Repubblica.

Last May Pope Benedict’s butler, Paolo Gabriele, was arrested and charged with having stolen and leaked papal correspondence… comprising “two volumes of almost 300 pages – bound in red” had been consigned to a safe in the papal apartments and would be delivered to the pope’s successor upon his election.

Obviously, the best way for the Catholic Church to deal with a scandal is to keep it under lock and key. In any case, that guy from Ghana will take care of it ’cause pope is tired.