“Hit The Floor” Recap: Big Bad Baller

Is Zero comfortable being the Little Wifey?

Previously on Hit The Floor, basketball player Zero faced the ghosts of his past, with emotional support from boyfriend Jude.


Zude didn’t have much to do this week, as most of the drama was elsewhere, but what scenes they did have together were sweet and added further proof that they have the most loving, functional relationship on the show.

Not that it’s much of a contest. All of these people are wonderfully batshit.

Jude warns team owner Lionel that her mouth is getting her into all kinds of trouble, which is not going to help her in front of the board members if she wants to keep the team. She should probably start by apologizing to the now-exonerated Sloane for telling the press “I hope she fries.”

Lionel isn’t having it.

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A worried Jude goes home to Zero and tells him that the press and the board are now constantly hounding Lionel, and he needs to try to smooth things over with the board members. That’s where Zero comes in.

Jude: “I made a double date with Marcus Douglas. He’s got the most sway of anyone on the board. I can’t risk bringing Lionel. God knows what will come out of her mouth right now. Would you go with me?”

Zero responds in the most Zero way possible.

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Jude says “More like the big bad baller. Marcus thinks you can do no wrong.” Zero shakes his head and looks away, telling Jude “Obviously he doesn’t know me very well.”

Jude knows Zero is still thinking about his sister, who he hasn’t seen since they were separated by the foster care system, and tells him “There’s a private investigator I use. He’s good. Maybe he can help you find her.” Zero responds in the most Zero way possible – by changing the subject. “What I need to find is something big, bad, and ballery to wear for this double date.”

The double date turns out to be a doubles tennis match with Marcus (played by Melrose Place star Thomas Calabro) and his female arm candy. Zero serves first, and smashes the ball about 20 feet over the net. I guess all balls are not created equal.

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Maybe Jude should have suggested bowling?


Yes, Zero completely stinks at tennis, which Marcus is eager to point out, but it ends up working in Jude’s favor when Zero tells Marcus “Jude is not a self-promoter. What he is a brilliant strategist who you want working in the front office.”

Marcus responds “A true strategist wins no matter what their handicap. No offense, Zero, but you suck at tennis. But my father taught me how to play, and he was nowhere near as patient with me as you were with Zero. To me, that means more.”

Jude lets Marcus know that when it comes to things he cares about, he’s not reckless, which Marcus appreciates. “Good, there’s enough of that coming from Lionel. Knowing you’re balancing her out can help me sleep a little sounder. You up for a drink? Talk me more off this ledge?” Jude happily agrees, as Wifey Zero gets a tennis lesson from arm candy.

In bed that night, Jude gets a text from Marcus, and happily tells Zero “Marcus is going to meet with the board.” Zero’s response is perfect.

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They both laugh, and then Zero takes a moment to contemplate and says “Hey, I was thinking maybe you could kick me the number of that private investigator.” Jude smiles and says “sure.”

It’s not all happy endings for Zude, though. The next morning after Jude has left, Lionel drops by and notices the club pass from the day before, and asks Zero why the hell Jude went to see Marcus without her. Zero calmly tells her that Marcus needed some reassurance, and with how tightly wound (and prone to public outbursts) Lionel is lately, Jude wanted to make sure the board was cool.

Zero: “Jude was born with the name Kincaid. You’re just borrowing it. And you haven’t been too careful with it lately. So I’d be thanking the guy, not only for protecting his legacy, but protecting you.”

Lionel: “Jude’s not protecting me. He went there to vouch for me because he didn’t think I could vouch for myself.”

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When Jude gets home Zero tells him about Lionel’s hissy fit, and a worried Jude is afraid Lionel has gone off the deep end. Zero says “What’s the worst she can do?”

Um, how about springing Evil Daddy Kincaid from jail?

It looks as though Jude’s father Oscar will be back on the loose next week, but we’ll also have Zero zeroing in on the location of his lost sister, so the family drama is getting ready to explode.

Until then, here’s an adorable meme of Zero.

Here’s my contribution.


Come to think, considering this is Zero, this one might be more appropriate.


Hit The Floor airs Monday at 10 PM ET on VH1.

80's Pop Culture Expert, Shooting At The Walls Of Heartache.