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If Elton John's monologue about Liberace wasn't embarrassing enough for you, cunnilingus enthusiast Michael Douglas' tired gay jokes at the Emmys did the trick.

Winning Outstanding Lead Actor in a Movie or Miniseries for his performance as Liberace in Behind the Candelabra, Douglas could have accepted the award with grace. Instead, he decided to go for a gay-sex joke:  "This is a two-hander," he said of the award. Addressing his co-star Matt Damon, who was also nominated, Douglas said:  "You really deserve half of this...So, do you want the bottom or the top?"  Cue roaring applause. "Top?  I figured that."

To be fair, though, those awards are somewhat phallic. And Damon totally is a top.