How ‘Revenge’ Could be a Better Show

revenge recap

We are HURT by your criticism, Blankenship!

I love Revenge. I really do. And that’s what I feel comfortable making the following observation…

Season 2 is starting to suck.

I know that’s harsh, but sometimes we have to be firm with the ones we care about the most. So let me add that the reason the show is starting to suck is because there are no consequences. Ever. Every damn week, we get teased with the promise that someone is going to die or get maimed or disappear or, hell, even make a permanent, binding decision… and then by the end of the episode, nothing truly significant has happened. The Graysons don’t get shot. Conrad doesn’t go to jail. The baby really is Fake Amanda’s. And oh yeah. Daniel does or doesn’t or does hate his mom. That one changes every week.

And eventually, it’s hard to care about these supposed crises. Why get invested when we know the stakes aren’t real? Why keep caring about a series when nothing ever comes of anything… when every episode is full of people just pantsing around, pretending to do things, and then—oopsie!—pulling back at the last minute. The “almost-but-not-quite” approach to action is engaging for a while, but eventually, Hamlet needs to stop stressing and start stabbing.

This lack of commitment is ironic when you consider that Revenge is predicated on two definitive, irreversible actions: A plane crash and the death of Amanda’s father. It would be nice if more of the present day scenes had some of those lasting consequences.

And yes, yes. I realize that certain characters have died or disappeared, but I’m talking about characters at the center of the story. Last year, for instance, it was awesome when they actually killed Tyler, though it doesn’t seem to have resulted in any lasting effects. If the writers and/or network execs would show the same kind of moxie this season, I’d be much obliged. And it’s possible the end of the season will be full of permanent actions with permanent consequences, but it would be better if the show didn’t try our patience by making us wait that long.

Oh… and one more thing. The show is also starting to suck because that plot line about Jack and Declan’s bar is as boring as dead grass. Why does this always happen to TV shows? Why do writers always feel compelled to push the characters apart, creating separate storylines that rarely overlap? Unless the bar and this dude who’s buying it somehow cause Conrad to, like, lose a kidney, then I don’t want to hear about it anymore.

In conclusion, Revenge needs to commit to some consequences and figure out what the hell is happening at the bar. Thank you. That is all.

The five bitchiest moments from this week’s episode

Mark Blankenship hopes that Fake Amanda dies, just like they promised in the season opener. She’s just in the way. He tweets as @IAmBlankenship