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'Revenge' Recap: 5 Bitchiest Moments

By Chris Spargo
January 6, 2013 / 10:01 PM

[caption id="attachment_84777" align="aligncenter" width="607"] It's fun strangling men in the mist.[/caption]

Revenge is back friends (as is Downton Abbey, which we will be posting our recap of in the morning), and things, are, well kind of boring and repetitive in the Hamptons and the city. This storyline is starting to get really, really tired, right? Daniel and his parents going back and forth, Emily and Daniel going back and forth, those hot guys at the bar being dicks to Jack, we need a change. Maybe a new character or, even better, a feasible storyline?

Anyway, everyone is still acting a complete bitch, which is all we need, so here are our five bitchiest moments.

  • Conrad and Victoria hate their son so, so much, it's beautiful to see. Those bitches are hanging him out to dry with those murderous creeps from that weird Initiative organization and forcing Emily to fake date him. True love.

  • Smuggling large bags of cocaine in coffee sacks is a super smart idea, and we wish that bitch Declan hadn't ratted out the hot dickish dudes from the bar. Also, drugs may be one of the few things that would make hanging at that bar enjoyable for locals.

  • Speaking of, why doeesn't Jack stop acting like a bitch and just ask Emily or Nolan for some money to save that gross dirty bar we still can't understand why people drink at? He knows those bitches are loaded.

  • Emily is really, really good at being a bitch and starting sexy fights in the middle of crowded restaurants to woo back her ex. A very necessary life skill.

  • That judge was a total bitch and got what was coming to him.

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