The Emmys happened last night kids, that prestigious awards show that honors the people and programs on the TV box that old white men deem the best. And, like every other year, the highs were high, the lows were low, and the talented Ellen Burstyn collected an award for a performance that lasted all of ten minutes. So, with this in mind, let’s look at the good, the bad and the ugly of last night’s ceremony.
- Merritt Wever wins Best Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series — Look, we wanted Jane Krakowski to win this award more than anything for her amazing, amazing work on 30 Rock, and if we had the ability to guarantee that just one actor walked away with a gold statuette of an ano angel holding one of those wicker hacky sack balls, it would be our girl Janey. Especially after everything that went down following the tongue-twisting Irma Luhrman-Merman murder. That being said, Merritt Wever is so amazing on Nurse Jackie, and of all the nominees across all the categories this year, probably the least known (though this is her second nom), so we could not be happier that she picked up an award for her work as the zany and delightful and loyal and kimono loving Zoey, and, even better, that she gave what may be the greatest acceptance speech of all time. All while rocking a perfect red lip.
- Tony Hale wins Best Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series — He’s amazing on Veep, and Lucille is gonna be so pissed he won this award for that other show. Things are probably gonna get awkward at Motherboy this year.
- Julia Louis-Dreyfus wins Best Actress in a Comedy Series, again — Laura Dern was brilliant and nuanced in Enlightened (as she always is), Amy Poehler is in some serious need of Emmy love, and we all wanted Tina to get as much Emmy love as possible for the final season of 30 Rock, but no one is better or funnier than JLD. And that includes you too, dudes.
- Anna Gunn wins Best Supporting Actress in a Drama Series — Her costars Aaron Paul and Bryan Cranston have gotten their moment of glory at the Emmy podium, but the true HBIC of Breaking Bad has never been honored for her brilliant portrayal of the woman Lady Macbeth wishes she could be — until now.
- Kiernan Shipka owns the red carpet — Sorry Kerry Washington and Claire Danes and Sofia Vergara and January Jones, but your efforts to emerge the night’s big fashion winner were foiled by television’s greatest petulant teen, and youngest fashion icon, Kiernan Shipka, who blew everyone away in a stunning dress from reemerging Spanish brand Delpozo. Now if only the Academy could finally give her that much deserved Emmy nom…
- Tina Fey wins Outstanding Writing for a Comedy Series — The perfect comedy had the perfect finale thanks to the perfect writing of television’s most perfect mind, and some help from the very, very funny Tracey Wigfield. How are we going to live in a world without 30 Rock?
- Elisabeth Moss loses everything, as always — What is the deal Emmy voters? Did Lizzie Moss wrong you in some horrible way? She was majorly snubbed when she failed to pick up an Emmy for her work on the first season of Mad Men. And then snubbed worse when she suffered the same fate for season two, that season that gave us one of television’s greatest moments when Peggy(finally) told Pete what was up, and we realized Matthew Weiner’s magnum opus was just as much, if not more, about Peggy as Don. But awarding Laura Linney (who we adore) over EM for her work on Top of the Lake? How do you expect people to take you seriously?
- Jim Parsons wins Best Actor in a Comedy Series — Nothing against Jimmy, but The Big Bang Theory
is not even remotely funny at all everhas never made any sense or had much appeal to us, and when up against Louis C.K. and, more importantly, Alec Baldwin, for his synergizing work in 30 Rock‘s final season, we have no idea how he managed to walk away with this award. Again.
- Modern Family wins Best Comedy Series — Look, it’s a great show, and it is very funny, but this past season of Modern Family was nowhere near on the same level as Veep, Louie, Girls and, the show that should have gone out with a winning bang, 30 Rock.
- Sarah Paulson loses Best Supporting Actress in a Miniseries or Movie — We ain’t trying to hate on Queen Burstyn, but Miss Paulson was so good on the most recent season of American Horror Story that it seemed like acting legend Jessica Lange, a gal who has a stockpile of awards rivaled only by the likes of Meryl Streep and Katherine Hepburn, was working her hardest to hold her own against our girl SP, and not vice versa. If that’s not enough to get you an award, we’re not quite sure what is.
- Jane Krakowski, Laura Dern, Elaine Stritch and Bill Hader go home empty handed — We can get onboard with the four actors who beat these kids, but why can’t there be more ties? Especially when we are so conflicted about who to route for?
- Lena Dunham gets upholstered — It is awful to go after the fashion choices of a woman this talented and brilliant, but what is going on here? That being said, had Miss Fey not been in the running we can’t think of any episode of television we saw over the past year, comedy or drama, that was a beautifully executed as Dunham’s “One Man’s Trash.”
"It's like the Delia's catalogue made a red carpet dress!" – my sister giving me the truest compliment when I showed her my Emmy look #joy
— Lena Dunham (@lenadunham) September 20, 2013
- What is going on here?